I was diagnosed Lupus about 3 years ago...
I was 18, had just finished high school and was headed to Hawaii for vacation.
A week before my trip I received the call.
After being transferred from doctor to doctor and finally ending up in a rheumatologists office where I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
They did some blood tests (about a dozen vials of blood) , and said "we'll call you in two weeks....
With my vacation encroaching I thought nothing of all the tests or the possibility of there being anything major...
A week before my trip I received the call...
I ran into my mothers bedroom with the phone so she could hear the conversation....
"You have lupus"
the doctor on the phone said with a disheartening sound in his voice.
I stopped listening after those words, walked into my room and asked my boyfriend (at the time) to "google lupus".
How was I supposed to know? I was 18 and had no idea what lupus was or what it effected or anything about it...
After about 5 or 6 sites and all of the random information I could cram in half an hour my boyfriend asked me "who has lupus?" I looked him in the eyes and began to tear up as the words "I do." Came screeching softly from my throat. He looked at me, then down at his feet and back up at me again and without a word just hugged me...
That night was one of the most restless nights I've ever experienced, I couldn't clear my head. While I should have been dreaming about sandy beaches and fun in the sun. I was stuck awake, mind racing, watching the minutes on the alarm clock turn slowly and endlessly into hours until the sun arose... All I could think of was the images of people with lupus I had seen and all of the horrible effects it has on your body and wondering if I would have those same problems....
The next day I decided not to think about it anymore
What good does it ever do to dwell on something that isn't good to begin with?
So I acted like nothing happened, my mom was a wreck that morning I remember, but I just continued to act as if nothing phased me and started packing for Hawaii.
The day I left for Kauai I remember feeling bad for leaving my mom to think about my newly discovered "terminal illness" on her own. I felt bad, and I knew it tore her up to know I'm NOT a healthy young woman like she had hoped I would be for so long. But I had a ticket to paradise and I wasn't about to pass it up, especially if I was going to die young... Might as well enjoy my life.
Hawaii was nice, I met some really cool people and saw some amazing things I may never see again. Totally worth it!
Though I didn't realize lupus and sun aren't friends and got the sunburn of my life followed by two weeks of sun poisoning....
Still worth it.
